There’s a reason why women love reading erotic novels.

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I’m in the middle of a lecture when my phone lights up. I shoot it a side glance; the message light fades back to black. My left brain urges me to focus while my right brain screams, who is it from?

I’m a bloody millennial; I can’t resist, so I pull the phone closer and press the home button.

I can’t stop thinking of the noises you made last night.

Whoa! I whispered, giving my surprise and delight away to anyone who cared to look my way. As I fumble to put my phone away, another message pops up.


The hardest thing about emotional abuse is the invisible wound

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“I can tell my mother anything” my friend boasted “she’s my best friend”. Even without her saying, it was apparent. They often wore matching outfits, shared inside jokes, and finished each other’s sentences. They were like the mother-daughter duo we see in commercials.

I envied her; I too wanted a mother I could gossip with, party with, and share secrets with. In our neighborhood, Mary’s mum was the coolest. Hell, she knew the names of all our crushes and allowed us to call her by her first name, Jones.

Anything taboo with our parents Ms. Jones was okay with.
We didn’t…

#3. The Predator.

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How we converse with others is a reflection of who we are. It impacts how we are perceived and determines the type and quality of friends we have. For one reason or another some people fail at this crucial skill. Here are 7 types people that suck at conversations.

#1. The know-it-all

At my first tutoring job, I was so determined to show my competence that I never dared to admit when I didn’t know something. So I answered questions without say those god forsaken words. You’re wondering how I did that? I would give a long-winded answer, that's related to the question…

What you can do about it.

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Your pulse is racing. You’re huffing and puffing, moaning and groaning. Your toes curl, your muscles flex and right when it should consume and throw you into a frenzy of ecstasy … the feeling goes (pin drop).

What happened, where did it go?

It’s one thing to enjoy sex and not reach orgasm. It’s another to get one or multiple orgasms. But to get riled up and then lose it halfway! Come on now… that’s cruel. It’s plain torture.

We’re left sexually frustrated!

The loss of orgasm is not an unusual thing; it prevalent in 11–41% of women worldwide and…

The day you stop seeking approval is the day you start living

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Approval is like a drug. The praise, the glory, the accolades all make us high, leaving us chasing our next fix. We fall into the trap of impressing, molding, fitting in, and walking on eggshells just to get the nod and the tap on the shoulders.

In truth, we’re chasing a feeling that no one can ever satiate. Those we want to impress will expect more while we lose more of ourselves until we’re left with nothing.

This is why the stoic philosopher Lucius Annaeus Seneca said:

“The Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.”

How Approval Costs Us Our Authenticity


You either know someone like him or you are him

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He was the kind of man who read about misogynists, womanizers, and narcissists. A self-proclaimed nice guy who prided himself in being nothing like those other men. Except he wasn’t very good with women. Not that anyone could tell, not even him.

His first crush was on a girl next door — a bubbly brunette who spoke with an accent — for years, he suffered silently; not once had he told anyone or acted on his urges. In high school, girls only gave him attention when they need help with assignments and projects.

Things changed in college when he met…

If sex toys make you anxious, skeptical, and fearful this is for you...

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In 2014 a fifty-year-old man died after a vibrator got stuck in his rectum. The deceased remained home for five days as he progressively became weaker. He only sought assistance after a friend learned of the problem and begged him to get help. Unfortunately, it was too late. The vibrator had perforated his bowels. He developed septic shock and suffered multiple organ failure.

Let that sink in!

This man was so ashamed that he preferred withstanding extreme pain and discomfort for five days rather than admit to having a toy stuck up his butt. …

Our obsession with erections is limiting us all

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Most penis-having individuals are familiar with an uncooperative boner.

You’re making out, she whispers how badly she wants you, you want her more. You unsnap her bra she tugs at your pants when you look down. Mr. Schlong isn’t standing at attention. The impulse is to feel embarrassed, claim it never happens, or blame it on the alcohol then sheepishly end sex altogether.

This scenario is so common that a quick Google search will reveal that most men fear not getting an erection during sex. …

We can change years of conditioning but it all starts with awareness.

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We teach girls shame. Close your legs; cover yourself. We make them feel as though being born female, they’re already guilty of something. ― Chimamamda Ngozi Adichie.

No matter your age or your background, at some point, someone must have given you a rundown on how to “play the game” to increase your chances of finding love. This passed-down knowledge can be helpful. However, some of it is laced in misogyny, patriarchy, and sexual shame, which hurt the very relationships we aspire to have.

One of my fondest memories is of us girls seated around Aunt B sipping hot cocoa…

Nature is hitting below the belt, it’s time we take heed

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I’ve written countless articles stating that size doesn’t matter. But in this case, size matters a lot. It’s one thing to accept the penis you have. It’s another to learn that penis size is hindered not by genetics but due to human negligence.

Epidemiologists and environmental scientists have found a correlation between industrial chemicals and penile length. The penis is growing shorter, and we should all be concerned.

A 2018 study found that the chemical diethylhexyl phthalate, which is used to make plastic soft and malleable, directly affects the male genitalia. Babies exposed to the chemical had genital defects, the…

Dona Mwiria

I have a Masters degree in Biochemistry. I write about science, sexuality and relationships. If you enjoy my work you can buy me a coffee here:

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